Unexpected Events - Cakes

The last several weeks of my life have been rather unexpected. I keep meaning to post about these most recent events, as well as implement some changes that I hope will spark in me the drive to write a bit more frequently. So here I finally go.

The first of the unexpected events started about a month and a half ago. I received a phone call from my mom with some exciting news. She was invited to have a table for her cakes at a ladies night out event that a local store does every year. They just asked her to donate 100 cupcakes and whatever else she made she could sell.

My mom was obviously excited about this opportunity. However, she was also a bit overwhelmed. It seemed she already had a wedding cake, a groom's cake and a shower cake booked that week. She knew she couldn't do it all and she didn't want to pass up this great opportunity. That was when she asked if I would be willing to come help her. Three weeks later I found myself on a plane heading for Texas.

My week in Texas flew by. My mom and I did a total of 6 cakes and over 200 cupcakes in that short amount of time. On our way to the airport my dad asked if I enjoyed my visit to Texas. I replied, "Oh that's where I've been. I wouldn't have known as I never left the house."

Sadly this was mostly true. My mom and I did manage a trip to Shreveport to do some shopping. Also, as payment for my work my mom took me to get my hair cut and colored, something I was in desperate need of just simply didn't have the money for. But other than that we were all business, up to our necks in frosting and fondant.

The event went well for my mom. It put both of us a bit out of our comfort zones as neither one of us is much of a salesperson. We're actually both fairly quiet. This experience forced us to be quite a bit more vocal than either of us is used to or very comfortable with. But we survived were doing pretty well as the night went on. We didn't sell as much as we hoped and planned. We chalked up the whole thing as a learning experience. Not to mention my mom gained a lot of advertising by being there and showing her work. (She received 4 calls the next day for cakes and she's been busy every week cranking out those cakes ever since.)

All in all I had a good week with my parents. It was nice to spend some time with them. It was also really nice to do some cake decorating. I haven't done any since my mom left and its something I really do love to do. It's a great way to be creative. Now if only I could fit all those tools in my suitcase when I go back for Christmas, then I'd be set.

So that's the first of my unexpected events. I'll save the next one for (hopefully) tomorrow and I'll leave you with pictures from the cakes my mom and I did that week.

Definitely one of the favorites.

The duck was no bigger than the tip of my pinky. Rolling those "bubbles" all night was not fun, my hand was numb.

These presents were about an inch big. That made for some delicate work, especially with those ribbons.

The cupcakes

Here's a close up of some of the cupcakes.

The wedding cake

I was shocked my mom let me do this one just about on my own. It was an easy cake, but I know how hard it was for her to give up control like that. She's such a control freak when it comes to her cakes.

The groom's cake (nope not at all obvious they're living in Texas.)

The shower cake

Our table

(Not the greatest picture but my parents are having issues sending me the better pictures.)

Rediscovering My Hope

Once again it's been far too long since my last post. But I've had good reason for not posting. Well, maybe not a good reason but a valid excuse. Earlier this week I wrote a long drawn out post about all my woes. It was quite depressing, which actually is fairly fitting considering my state of mind. I've been battling a not so small dose of depression as of late (which is the main reason for my lack of posting, simply no will). As I wrote all my problems spilled onto the page as I whined on and on about how my life sucks right now. But something happened as my problems were made definitive in black and white. They didn't seem to matter quite as much. Simply having my thoughts written out and organized seemed to clear my mind. And then something started to slip into me that I haven't felt in some time, hope.

No things aren't the greatest right now. I don't really have any more answers than I did at the beginning of this week. But I also know that things will not always be this way. This is simply a stage in my (our) life. I fully believe that God has some lessons for us to learn throughout all this. I'm not sure what those lessons are but I'm hoping I can figure those out quickly so I can move on to the next stage. Hopefully, that stage will have a little less turmoil or at least a semblance of a break from this deluge of issues with which we are dealing. I just have to hold on till we overcome this current battle we are facing. I must remember to turn to my God because he is my hope and my strength which I so desperately need because I honestly don't have any at the moment. I also can't forget to write most especially in the darkest of places because it always seems to alleviate the pain and makes things feel not quite as disastrous as they once seemed.

So some changes are coming soon around here. I've been working on something new and I'm hoping to reveal it in the next day or two. So if anyone is still out there, stay tuned for that. :) And I'll leave this post with my favorite verse.

"For I know the plans I have for you." declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

My Husband Rocks! - Our Anniversary

Today is J.R. and my 5th anniversary. I can hardly believe its been five years already. The time has seemed to fly by. Needless to say the past year has been the toughest year of our short marriage and things don't seem to be getting any better, more like worse day by day. I don't know how we're going to survive this mess but I know we will. One thing I do cherish is that even in the midst of this huge storm we are going through there is a peace in our home. We are at peace with one another and we are at peace knowing that our Father is faithful to take care of all our needs.

So this week my husband rocks because he is the most wonderful husband around. I don't know what I would do without him. Despite our current struggles, these past five (6 1/2 since I met him) have been the greatest years of my life and I can't imagine spending the rest of my life (in the good times and the bad) with anyone else. I love you babe and can't wait to spend many more years with you no matter what they may bring.

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson

My Husband Rocks! - My Hero

Well, again its been a while since I've written or done one of these in a while. Things seem to be going from bad to worse around here and I don't have much energy or will to write. Instead I've been burying myself in the wonderful world of books. It's my escape from reality. I've recently rediscovered the library. I love the library and had forgotten that important fact until I started this new reading binge. I've been there at least once a week for the past few weeks devouring each book within two days only to move on to the next. What can I say? Reality just sucks right now so I'd rather be living in the world of my books. Well, not really considering most of my books are thriller types and I'm not sure I would like to be caught in the dangers that these fictional characters are. But at least it takes me away for a while and its the right price too. Free!

But on to the reason for this post. Needless to say things have been stressful around here for both J.R. and I. It seems we are inching closer and closer to rock bottom and we need a miracle of some sort. Last week was quite the doozy as I had some issues with my family. In the midst of that problem I just about broke. While J.R. and I were out visiting his grandpa in the nursing home with the rest of his family I was getting calls from my family about said issue. It took every ounce of me to sit there and not cry while this mess swarmed around me. My husband rocks because when things just got too much for me, he stepped in and took over. He knew I just couldn't take it anymore. He took my phone and walked away while he dealt with the mess with my family. And I am so very thankful for that. I don't know what I would do without him. It might be a small thing but in my eyes he's my hero. He does such a wonderful job of taking care of me.

I'm (Hopefully) Back :)

Hello? Anybody out there? Yeah ok I'm officially a terrible blogger. It's been over a month since I wrote last. Plenty to write about. Zero drive to write. I've been telling myself daily for the past week or more, "just write." And of course I've been highly successful with that method. But tonight I'm breaking the silence and just writing. We'll see what spills out.

Lots has been going on actually. J.R. and I have been keeping busy, though I won't lie and say I've been too busy to write. Let's face it. I'm at home all day basically everyday. I have plenty of time to write.

Let's see in the past month (or two actually now) J.R. and I have:

• Had a couple of garage sales in order to clean out my parents garage. I won't get into that one because I'll just become upset. Let's just say there wasn't just a few things to take care of there. (Thankfully made a little money.)
• Went to Pageant of the Masters. If you live in So Cal and have never been I HIGHLY recommend you do this. It's A-Mazing!! We were able to go because my MIL was able to get free tickets.
• My brother went to Texas to visit my parents for a month, during which time I was able to use his fantastically fun car.
• During this time of car borrowing, our own car was towed by our amazingly stupid HOA. Hoping and praying they give us our money back because we really can't afford to lose $270.
• Went to a water park with some great friends T, M and K. We were able to get in at a great price as my SIL works there this summer.
• Went up to Big Bear for a weekend with J.R.'s family.
• Went to the X Games specifically to see the Rally Races with my MIL. It's really amazing.

So those are the major things going on. Well, maybe not major things. There are far more weighing things going on but I think I'll reserve those for another day. In other news, Friday is my birthday. My 29th to be exact. I'm not particularly thrilled with this one for a number of reasons.

I've never been one to put too much into getting older. (Of course I am still only in my 20's). But this one has seemed to hit me a little hard. This just isn't where I expected to be at this point in my life. I find myself disappointed, not with anyone in particular, simply disappointed and lost. Hoping to find my way out soon. J.R. and I are both tired of the way things are and hoping for some kinda of resolution soon. We'll just have to wait and see. Here's hoping there's a light at the end of this and quickly. Here's also hoping I can manage to write a little more frequently than I have been lately. :)

Late Nights

I have not gotten to bed before 4am the last 3 Saturdays! This is extremely unlike me. Yes, I am a bit of a night owl, but to be out that late? Well, not exactly part of my normal routine. Poor J.R. who is definitely not a night owl has had to suffer through these late nights (although at least one was partially his fault).

The 4th we met up with our good friends, T, M & K (my brother lives with them) and we all went to their friends house for a BBQ and some swimming. We ended up swimming all afternoon and into the evening. The boys then decided to start a game of golf on in Wii. It was after 11pm and that thing is about as close as you can get to playing a real golf game in your living room. So needless to say it took quite some time.

We girls ended up talking most of the evening. What else were we supposed to do? Watch them play golf? I don’t think so. When it gets that late in the evening and into the wee hours of the morning, conversations tend to get pretty interesting. And ours was no different. We did enjoy ourselves even if we were a bit delusional. Well, the boys then decided to play a short game of Frisbee golf. Fantastic. We didn’t end up leaving their house till after 3 am. Thankfully, we took our own car because these new friends of ours didn’t exactly live around the corner. All in all it was a good 4th. The only thing missing was my parents.

This past Saturday was quite the uneventful day. J.R. and I were pretty lazy the entire day. Neither one of us even made an attempt at getting ready until after 5pm. We didn’t leave the house until after 9pm. That should have been our first clue that it was going to be a long evening, that and the fact that the softball tournament we were going to didn’t start until 9pm. The only reason we even left the house then was to watch my brother in a softball tournament.

We ended up watching two of his games. However, at 2 in the morning we told him good night. We then went to find some food because as usual M was starving. We ended up sitting around talking till after 4am. Then we had yet another long drive home and wound up getting to bed just before 5am. Not fun.

What was worse about this particular late night was the fact that we agreed to meet J.R.’s mom for breakfast that morning. 8:30 rolled around and we were up and out the door yet again. We had a nice breakfast but went straight home and back to bed afterward. That evening my brother came over so we could Skype with my parents, while J.R. went to his hockey game. I have to say, I love Skype. It certainly has made dealing with this move a whole lot easier. However, as time goes on it doesn’t seem quite enough.

So quite the unusual weekends for J.R. and I. This next one promises to be no different, though hopefully more sleep will be involved.

The Blahs

Seems lately I have been out of the loop with just about everyone and everything. Seems my parents’ leaving has hit me pretty hard. Oh that’s not to say that I didn’t think it would. I knew it would, I guess I just didn’t know exactly how it would affect me. I am only now just beginning to see and understand the ramifications thereof. It seems a lot like a state of depression. No, I’m not sad all the time; I don’t go moping around the house. But I am definitely withdrawing myself from almost everyone and everything and that is very typical of me in a state of depression.

I have no desire to be around friends or people for that matter. I only want to be around those I am closest to and who truly know me. I can count off the people on that list using only one hand. I am discovering things that no longer got to me, things I thought I finally worked through and moved on from, are beginning to get to me again. I have to say I don’t like that not one bit.

I feel numb. I would be perfectly happy holed up in my bedroom with a good amount of good books and good movies never to be seen or heard from, well maybe not ever again, but certainly a good long while. It seems this move of theirs only emphasizes how much my life is at standstill in so many ways. I have felt for years, YEARS that I am just sitting here in neutral revving my engine. However, it seems that instead of actually going anywhere, God has me on blocks and is continuing to strip me to the bone. Hmm. I guess that’s really where He wants us all completely bare so He can work with us and build us into who He would like us to be so He can direct where we should go. I am aware of all this but it really doesn’t make it easier to go through.

Quite honestly, I’m tired, weak and worn and I just want off this merry-go-round cause this girl isn’t so merry about all this. I want to eventually be moving in the direction I am supposed to go. However, that is a difficulty in and of itself because I don’t even know the next step to take much less the direction I should go. There are so many things I would like to do in life, so many dreams yet to be fulfilled, but I feel stalled unable to move, again, not knowing what even the first step should be.

Even now a couple of opportunities have presented themselves to me. One I am pretty interested in just not sure where it will lead. The other is stable and the very logical thing to do. Yet it is something to do to simply pass the time. I’m tired of simply passing the time. I realize the state that things are in right now and I should be jumping for joy at the opportunity to begin to just make things do. However, I’m not. I want more and believe that better things are in store. I just am not sure how long I will have to wait for those things to come about or even if those things are what God truly has in store for me. So for now I continue to sit here in neutral revving my engine while it feels like the world flies right on by.